Through the past few months I have learned some hard lessons and gained new insight into what’s required to spiritually develop in this season the way God wants us to be developed.
No flesh shall glory in his presence, but of him are we in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and redemption. That according as it is written, he that glory, let him glory in the Lord. – 1 Corinthians 1: 29-31
Back in December of 2016, I wrote a blog titled, “2017 Write, Read, Run”. Click here to access the blog: https://www.psalmsof1keptwoman.com/single-post/2016/12/09/2017-Write-Read-and-RUN
That blog was the first time I allowed myself to write prophetically. I struggled with publishing it because I did not want to put myself “out there” as a prophetic voice. My experiences with those who profess to have a prophetic voice deterred me from wanting to be seen in that light. Even though I knew I needed to write what I was hearing the Spirit of God speak, I didn’t want to publish it publically. I comforted myself with the fact that my reach and ministry is very small so maybe no one would even read it. I wrote the word published it and released it. I didn’t put much thought into it after it was done, but as I look back on this year I can see the unfolding and manifestation of the prophecy. Some things I began doing by unction of the Holy Spirit without remembering that I had prophesied about them last year. In many ways, I am still in the process of walking out the prophecy in the physical realm yet the outcome is already prepared and waiting. In the spirit there is a predestined divine appointment that will manifest in the fullness of God’s timing.
While waiting we endure the pruning and burning away process necessary to prepare us to manage the blessing. I remember feeling this intense need to start fresh. I told my cousin I wanted to burn down my life. I imagined myself like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale, pouring gasoline over everything I had accumulated and setting it on fire. Imagining myself watching the blaze felt like chains falling away and fresh wind in my lungs. I COULD FINALLY BREATHE! I wanted whatever it would take to live in that place. As hurricane season came upon our region, there was devastation in Texas many people had lost everything and were displaced after the storm. I was at work one day and looked up at the news to see many of the hurricane victims sitting in a shelter. In that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and rest to the point that I felt envious of those who had lost all due to the hurricane. I actually longed for what they had. I felt I must be out of my mind. I dismissed my thoughts though I couldn’t shake what I was feeling.
Weeks later another hurricane had formed and was forecast for my area. I thought to myself, “Did I secretly pray for this, is this my opportunity to let it all go?” I prayed and asked God to give me understanding about what I was sensing. I didn’t know if I should pray the hurricane away or embrace the destruction trusting God’s provision to rebuild. The storm came and went only bringing heavy rains and some wind. At this point I am asking God if I have a problem. “What is wrong with me God, that I feel something destructive and devastating must happen in order for something new and good to come about?” I began to feel depressed and disappointed with myself. I felt something must be seriously wrong with me that I am so convinced that the path to greater has to be through pain and discomfort, so much so that I actually seek it and welcome it. I was in the midst of these very thoughts, traveling on the highway when a car pulled out in front of me. My car was totaled but no one was seriously injured. I didn’t know how to feel. I was shocked and confused. “Okay, is this it? Is this my opportunity and open door?” I still don’t know to what extent this accident will have an impact on the things to come, but I do know that it has been a physical catalyst setting in motion what God has already prepared. For this I do know, that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are the called according to his purposes in Christ Jesus.
I began to connect the dots on other things God had been showing me about his ultimate goal in bringing us into his promises and the price we pay for operating in impatience. Months earlier, I had been in a place of despair and hopelessness. I was entertaining thoughts that things in my life would never change, I had made too many mistakes to see a turnaround in my life and maybe all I could hope for is that I could prepare my children to receive the promises of God. I had a dream that I succumbed to temptation, when I woke up I he