Through the past few months I have learned some hard lessons and gained new insight into what’s required to spiritually develop in this season the way God wants us to be developed.
No flesh shall glory in his presence, but of him are we in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and redemption. That according as it is written, he that glory, let him glory in the Lord. – 1 Corinthians 1: 29-31
Back in December of 2016, I wrote a blog titled, “2017 Write, Read, Run”. Click here to access the blog: https://www.psalmsof1keptwoman.com/single-post/2016/12/09/2017-Write-Read-and-RUN
That blog was the first time I allowed myself to write prophetically. I struggled with publishing it because I did not want to put myself “out there” as a prophetic voice. My experiences with those who profess to have a prophetic voice deterred me from wanting to be seen in that light. Even though I knew I needed to write what I was hearing the Spirit of God speak, I didn’t want to publish it publically. I comforted myself with the fact that my reach and ministry is very small so maybe no one would even read it. I wrote the word published it and released it. I didn’t put much thought into it after it was done, but as I look back on this year I can see the unfolding and manifestation of the prophecy. Some things I began doing by unction of the Holy Spirit without remembering that I had prophesied about them last year. In many ways, I am still in the process of walking out the prophecy in the physical realm yet the outcome is already prepared and waiting. In the spirit there is a predestined divine appointment that will manifest in the fullness of God’s timing.
While waiting we endure the pruning and burning away process necessary to prepare us to manage the blessing. I remember feeling this intense need to start fresh. I told my cousin I wanted to burn down my life. I imagined myself like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale, pouring gasoline over everything I had accumulated and setting it on fire. Imagining myself watching the blaze felt like chains falling away and fresh wind in my lungs. I COULD FINALLY BREATHE! I wanted whatever it would take to live in that place. As hurricane season came upon our region, there was devastation in Texas many people had lost everything and were displaced after the storm. I was at work one day and looked up at the news to see many of the hurricane victims sitting in a shelter. In that moment I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and rest to the point that I felt envious of those who had lost all due to the hurricane. I actually longed for what they had. I felt I must be out of my mind. I dismissed my thoughts though I couldn’t shake what I was feeling.
Weeks later another hurricane had formed and was forecast for my area. I thought to myself, “Did I secretly pray for this, is this my opportunity to let it all go?” I prayed and asked God to give me understanding about what I was sensing. I didn’t know if I should pray the hurricane away or embrace the destruction trusting God’s provision to rebuild. The storm came and went only bringing heavy rains and some wind. At this point I am asking God if I have a problem. “What is wrong with me God, that I feel something destructive and devastating must happen in order for something new and good to come about?” I began to feel depressed and disappointed with myself. I felt something must be seriously wrong with me that I am so convinced that the path to greater has to be through pain and discomfort, so much so that I actually seek it and welcome it. I was in the midst of these very thoughts, traveling on the highway when a car pulled out in front of me. My car was totaled but no one was seriously injured. I didn’t know how to feel. I was shocked and confused. “Okay, is this it? Is this my opportunity and open door?” I still don’t know to what extent this accident will have an impact on the things to come, but I do know that it has been a physical catalyst setting in motion what God has already prepared. For this I do know, that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are the called according to his purposes in Christ Jesus.
I began to connect the dots on other things God had been showing me about his ultimate goal in bringing us into his promises and the price we pay for operating in impatience. Months earlier, I had been in a place of despair and hopelessness. I was entertaining thoughts that things in my life would never change, I had made too many mistakes to see a turnaround in my life and maybe all I could hope for is that I could prepare my children to receive the promises of God. I had a dream that I succumbed to temptation, when I woke up I heard Hebrews 12:15-17,
“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; lest there be any fornicator or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.”
I know we have all experienced times like this where it seems all is lost and there’s nothing to look forward to. These are thoughts from the enemy and they come before temptation. Whatever vice weakness or vulnerability you have will be tested when you begin to accept thoughts of doubt fear or unbelief.
These verses stuck with me for months coming up over and over again. I am convinced that the closer you get to your breakthrough the more temptations will come to try to cause you to forfeit the promise. Don’t fall for it! Guard your heart and keep the word in your ears and in your mouth daily. Be diligent to cast down every imagination and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God and bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
A sister of mine sent me a video clip of Juanita Bynum preaching a sermon about how sacrifice was done in the Old Testament. Prophetess Bynum tied a rope around her waist and proclaimed that we have to tie up our flesh and put it on the altar. Watching that video I heard, “BE the ram in the bush.” I didn’t immediately receive this word. Honestly, I was taken aback. The word says, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God. We have all been taught that God will provide a ram in the bush. We see the ram as our way out of an unbearable situation. We are all seeking our ram in the bush that we can lay on the altar and sacrifice on our behalf. No one has ever said, “Make ME the ram in the bush Lord!” So, I prayed for confirmation about what I heard. Confirmation began to come immediately through the word. This is what God had been leading and guiding me to all along. My desires to set my life ablaze or to have the hurricane wipe me out were both pointing me up the mountain. I was being led to the altar of sacrifice. The fire is for me! Now, I am no stranger to the purifying fire of God, to walk with him, we all must be acquainted with the fire. Over the years I had dipped my toes in the fire. I had even walked into the flames waist deep. In those times, I thought I was all in, but looking back now I see what I was withholding from the flames. No novice can accept this invitation, “Present your bodies a living sacrifice.” I was crying out for the flames and didn’t know it.
God is not promoting flesh, he is not pouring out blessings and favor on flesh, nor can the flesh inherit the promises of God. It is by living and operating according to his spirit by faith do we enact the blessings of the covenant relationship in our lives. All of this is to the purpose of manifesting his glory in the earth. God wants to put us on display as models and examples to principalities and rulers and high places to demonstrate his manifold wisdom and also for the encouragement and edification of the household of faith and to draw the lost.
This is a high calling to bear the weight of glory and its stewardship requires maturity in the spirit to manage and direct the flow of many streams of blessings. It takes WISDOM to be blessed!! God is after the treasure we house in our earthen vessels. This is why we are pressed on every side but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not forsaken, cast down but not destroyed always bearing in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus that the life of Jesus also may be manifest in our bodies.
Submit! Don’t quit! Don’t forfeit the promise that belongs to you in Christ Jesus. Walk in the spirit and deny the flesh. Be the ram in the bush that somebody needs to see.