I'm naturally stubborn, I don't like when someone "Lord's" their authority over me or anyone else for that matter. I don't necessarily like being told what to do, but if you must, then please don't tell me "how" to do it and you might as well forget attempting to impose on me "when" to get it done. You will end up with a rebellion on your hands.
Now let me explain, I am not one of those people who are out-right disrespectful and disobedient in the ways that are most evident for quick labeling purposes. No, I am the quiet revolt. I am self- governing. You know, the kid in school who never breaks the rules, does not have to be closely monitored because they are always on task, and works well independently. As a matter of fact, this is the kid who has already completed the task and quietly found something to do at their desk while everyone else finishes. They hold themselves accountable to a high standard because they are internally motivated, meaning they want to do what's good and right without the need of recognition or reward.
So, maybe you are thinking, well here's a good kid! Right? Well, you would think that until you attempt to challenge their idea of "right." These are the kids who have "old spirits." They are observant and insightful. They have formed a pretty good understanding of how the world works based on their experiences and observations and natural intuitive abilities. Therein arises the problem, when their "right" is wrong or not a suitable right for their situation or when their "good" isn't good enough and you criticize it, even with the best intentions, you will get one or both of two possible responses:
1.) Tears/despair/self condemnation "They will beat themselves up for missing the mark"
2.) Revolt/Rebellion "They will beat YOU up for criticizing/questioning their mark (beliefs, values, morals)"
When it comes to this walk with Jesus, sometimes we can take all of our observations, experiences, our insight from reading the word, and our impressions from time spent in prayer and still come to a conclusion that is WRONG! It happens, we are fallible. God's thoughts and ways are so much higher than our thoughts and ways.
So we may find ourselves with all good and right intentions, still going in the wrong way.
Being internally motivated and self-governing is GOOD- to MAN
but it is REBELLION- to GOD.
It means if we don't understand or agree, then we don't obey. It means we are submitted to OURSELVES and NOT to God.
I have had correction right before me that I didn't receive because I thought I knew BETTER. I have had opportunities presented to me that I rejected because they didn't match my idea of what I thought was best for me. God gives us opportunities for GROWTH that oftentimes we perceive as an ATTACK of the enemy, but God makes even our enemies to serve HIS purpose in our life, or else He wouldn't allow it. God used the enemy to crucify Christ and the word says, "for if they had (known), they wouldn't have crucified the Lord of glory." Without the work of the cross, we have no salvation. Man's wisdom is no comparison to God's wisdom. What looks like death can in fact be our only hope of LIFE. That's why we must be humble and receptive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, leaning not unto our own understanding, but acknowledging Him in ALL our ways.
Jekayln Carr has a song called "Bigger." She proclaims that God is bigger than the universe, bigger than the moon and the stars, bigger than HIV diabetes and cancer, or anything that this life may bring. It's an encouraging song, but may I also add that God is BIGGER than my understanding. He's BIGGER than what I deem to be right or wrong. He's BIGGER than the hidden places in our hearts. He's BIGGER than I biggest rebellion- SELF WILL.....HE'S BIGGER!
But we cannot experience really how BIG God is if we don't surrender to Him in ALL our ways- everything, withholding nothing. If we say we want more of Him, then we must make room. Less of us, our will, desires, and emotions. In this way, we can increase our capacity for Him and whatever He wants to do, how He wants to do it, and when He wants it done. Our answer must always be YES!